Central heating

I am one of those girls who are always cold.

Dressed in a trench coat sleepless night captured in a thousand words.

Covered in maybes and don’ts surrounded with shiny, shattered always.

Used to primitive comforts of words arranged in sentences by unconscious.

I am one of those girls who want it easy.

Beggar eyes catching molecules staring back at me hidden underneath self.

Captured in theories of them who know or knew better when you never never never.

Infected with threats of not dancing prettily enough for a girl for a guy for the one like you.

I am one of those girls with a breakdown cut.

My forehead scarred with bangs or a fringe confirming bad timing of life happening around.

Shallow breaths miss the point of no call backs left behind could ofs trying to be right.

Showered witch clichés with laced up boots and corsets daring gore.

I am one of those girls with a pen tucked behind her ear.

Writing down loveless loneliness in search of understated understanding of us.

Trying to listen quieter when speaking out loud pulling my milk teeth.

Pretending to mould when not even bending, oh everything.

I am one of those

messages at 4a.m. when walking down and up up up (bottles)

one night late darlings found by the bar

unable to conform to your idea of summer lovin’

I am one of those

worked up worrying how we is us but without me

staring at cars’ windows shy smiles of mist

too sensitive to be serious at times

I am one

drop of forgiveness

tangling spine fingertip

daring darling

I am one

who never got away

or along

or past

but over you

You are one of those guys.

Holding an oyster in hands when clapping, nostrils widened in amusement.

Scared of everything close to forever like wallpapers or spray paint.

With world falling apart when you don’t know whether to hold on or let go.

You are one of those guys.

In a too big suit and too small white shirt saying sorry twice a day.

Flailing around words I’ve once said when you never meant.

On Sundays falling off laughing when I was falling for.

You are one of those guys.

Making compromises but never slitting your gut.

Making last time last to sneakily, waist up, down, lower, you never meant it.

Making fear the easiest part of distress standing outside my dress.

You are one of those guys

You are one

wild ride back home

from the point I wanted

but never needed

You are one

leaving without breathing

destroying middle of

trembling arms

You are one

I don’t recall

the smell

of shampoo in your hair.

You are one

I want to disappear

for a while

for a month
for a year