Struggling with body image

I had issues with the way my body looks like for the longest time I can remember. There was always something I wanted to change about my appearance. Starting with too wide jaw, too big nose all the way to too wide hips and too big tights. Getting into modeling didn’t help my insecurities but also it made me realise that there are things that I might not like about myself but others do.

I’m still during the process of trying to accept every single part of me and it’s been tough. But now it’s better. I know that I can’t look perfect because nobody can. There will always be something that you don’t like about yourself and that’s okay. There will always be a room for an improvement for you.

What I’ve learnt because of my body dysmorphic disorder and because of bulimia is that only I can help myself. Yes specialist treatments and psychologists help but also you need to want to change. You need to understand that healthy eating and exercising are very important when it comes to loosing weight and you can’t achieve your goals over night in a healthy way. I’ve learnt that there will be always something that I’ll want to change about myself and I will always be able to change some things. For the longest time ever I was feeling insecure because other girls whom I worked with had super tiny waists which made me feel like an elephant standing next to them. Yes at first I did end up just crying in front of the mirror but then I did my research and started using hula hoop with added weights to enhance the effect. In a month I went down 2cm in my waist and I keep going. I know that there is a limit and I’m not going to try to push it with an unhealthy behaviour.

Trying to love your body can be a long process. What helped me are endless talks with my mom and specialists about the way that I feel about myself and also tattoos and body piercing. I hated my nose and often referred to it as the thing that takes up half of my face. Well now I’ve got a nostril and a septum piercing and even if someone stares at my nose for a bit too long that I would like I just assume they are looking at the piercing. It took the stress and anxiety away and replaced it with something that I want people to see. Like a chrysanthemum tattoo on my too wide hips.

I know it’s easier to say than to do but – love yourselves guys because you are the only person in the whole world that has to spend the entire life with you seeing you every single day! Self-love is one of the most important things in life. We are all smart, beautiful and unique and let’s not forget about that!